My Own Worst Enemy

Something I am sure that most beginner racers are guilty of is putting pressure on themselves. I am not going to lie, I am having a hell of a time with it.

 

It's one of those frustrating things that no matter how many people tell you to enjoy yourself and not put so much pressure on yourself, you just can't seem to help it. I am forever comparing myself to other girls who are riding and racing, trying to judge myself against them "How long have they been riding for? How often do they get riding? Do they have natural talent or do they work their ass off?". 

 

I don't drive (I'm working on it) which causes me a great amount of frustration due to the fact that I can only ride when I can get a lift to trails which is not very often. I have been out about four times since the start of the year, which leaves me feeling pretty unprepared for my first race season. But if I relaxed and didn't put pressure on myself surely this wouldn't be such an issue? Sure I've not been out much but it's the taking part that counts, as long as I get to the bottom of the track in one piece?

 

This is where fear plays it's part. Not fear of the track, not fear of my own ability, but fear that others will expect me to be a good racer and that I will simply embarrass myself.

 

I know this is a negative post but it's an honest one. And that's the whole point of this blog, to be honest and give future racers advice from a first timer.

 

Do not let yourself get put under pressure, especially pressure from yourself.

 

I love riding, I love racing, I can't wait to get started, but I am ruining it for myself by comparing my riding to others. Sometimes you need to take a step back and remind yourself of everything else that you are: A mother? A daughter? A student? An employee? A wife? For some people biking has to take a backseat, even if it's only temporarily.

 

I am a full-time student, I have a boyfriend, I work a part-time job in an office, I am training to be a wakeboarding instructor for my summer job, I am learning to drive and I am trying to maintain my physical and mental health by getting to the gym a few times a week, and I am a downhill racer.

 

Sometimes all it takes is to remind yourself that you can only do so much, and maybe right now isn't your time, and that's ok. I know that once I can drive I will be riding more, feeling more prepared for races and perform better. I know that once I graduate from university that I will have more structure in my life and a bit more freedom to get out riding. 

 

I am bad for getting jealous of how other girls are improving faster than me, but at the same time I am so excited for them knowing they will have a great season. Maybe I'll catch up to them one day, maybe I won't but till then I'm just going to do what I can, and try live as balanced a life as I can.